Friday, March 12, 2010

Dog v. Cat


I wish I could take credit for this but I can' the happy owner of both dogs and cats,
I can definitely understand....

Excerpts from Joey’s Diary:

"8:00 AM - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 AM - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 AM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 PM - Napped! My favourite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk Bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing! "


Excerpts from Minkie's Diary:

"Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards...

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking ... I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.

My captors have arranged protective custody for him in a private cell, some kind of elevated wire box, so he is safe... for now...."


  1. Very cute!! I want a dog so bad, but it will have to wait until I'm living somewhere that allows them!

  2. That cat reminds me of Stewie (Family Guy)
    Evil - but hilarious !

  3. Michael, glad you liked the confessions- the right time for a dog will come, I promise - you will know the right time - they are SO MUCH FUN! ox

    Jan - you are sooo right! emphasis on "evil"..ox